Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

There's a bit of darkness in all of us...

And this is my ode.. :)

To the Funion and his masculinity.

To Honorary Onion Theo and his nonsense.

To Bawang Merah and his royal gay-ness.

To Honorary Onion Roy and his future happiness.

To the Green Onion and his green-ness.

To the Bohonion and her hobo ways.

To the Mama Onion and her hyperactivity.

To Bunion?? (Sorry Kev forgot yours) and his ideologies.

To the Spunion and her quirky bluntness.

To Honorary Onion Jade and her morbid personality.

Without humor, life is just a big black hole in uranus. - Pikachew, 2007

Career Revival Plan for Tennis Pros 101

Since I have been labeled as the “resident fitness junkie” here’s a sports related rant:

So you’re a pro athlete (tennis player, to be exact). You’ve now hit the BIG 3-0 (that’s a bit over-the-hill for a tennis career, unless you’re Andre Agassi). You’ve had some notable success in the past (though not of the Roger Federer-esque proportions). And been seen in the company of some glamorous women (former sexploits include: Delta Goodrem, Paris Hilton).

My question: How hath the world wronged you, such that, you need to participate in a reality TV dating show for a bit of an ego trip? (*detect faint wisp of desperation in the air*)

Apparently, a respectable career of being a former Top 10 player/finalist at the US Open & Wimbledon/USD$7mil in career prize money… just ain’t good enough for Mark Philippousis (see not-the-most-flattering mug shot above, courtesy frm NBC). The dude’s trading his gym socks for a moonlighting job as the resident “jock-(heart)throb” on NBC’s new reality dating show “Age of Love”… [Call me a purist, but isn’t the whole idea of having “reality TV-jock-(heart)throb” next to your picture on the “Tennis Hall of Fame” somewhat mortifying?… Then again potentially you could instead have a STAR on the Hollywood Walk-of-Fame…Hm, tough call…..*ponder*….]

I’m willing to admit, though, that the show’s premise is interesting enough – it pits 6 women in their 20s (“the Kittens”) against 7 women in their 30s/40s (“the Cougars” <- think Ellen Barkin from Ocean’s 13) who will all vie for affections of the tennis ace in this little social experiment. [Note: The “little social experiment” herein is defined as “….in the search for Love, does age really matter….?”].

Anyway, if anyone’s remotely interested you know where to check out the program, but my money’s on a blonde in her 20s. [the track record speaks for itself (Delta & Paris: blonde- check, kitten material-double check)].

Oh well, I suppose with a TV series in the works, that doesn’t leave much time to actually PLAY tennis, much less win a Grand Slam (I might as well go torch my Phlippousis authographed copy of the Wimbledon ’01 Program).

On a significantly lesser note… should Roger Federer ever decide to hang up his Nike dri-fit shorts to become a reality TV star… someone please give me a call!!!